Life is a metaphoric emotional minefield littered with grenades – and sometimes we step on one that sounds a loud “kapow.” We might snap at our partner, friend, child, parent, or professional colleagues during these explosions. Afterward, we feel guilty, embarrassed, regretful, or helpless (or all four).
Dr. Venus Nicolino, Ph.D., a doctor of clinical psychology, believes in digital support systems that improve mental health, so she invested in SoundMind and is now the chairwoman and owner of the innovative download. The wellness app uses music therapy to lower users’ trauma, depression, and anxiety. Through the app, you can listen to music or visual beats. The visual beats send different frequencies to your ears, which are processed in the brain to alter your mood.
“SoundMind,” Nicolino states, “is the starting point of hope.”
Nicolino — affectionately known as Dr. V — teaches her clients, TikTok followers, and podcast listeners strategies for managing anger, stress, and trauma instead of detonating it. Using these strategies and apps like SoundMind, people can relieve mental pain without hurting others.
“Take it out, but not on others and yourself,” Nicolino advises. “Stress, pain, and old traumas can cause us to take out our internal issues on others — or, just as bad, on ourselves. That stuff inside us will come out; there’s no way around that.”
Nicolino wrote the bestselling book Bad Advice: How to Survive and Thrive in the Age of Bulls–t,a fresh take on surviving negative states of mind. She uses various media outlets to help people manage their mental health, including her podcast, “The Tea With Dr. V.” She specializes in depression, anxiety, life transition, trauma, and grief.
In springtime, Nicolino gets even more passionate about healing mental pain because April is National Stress Awareness Month in the U.S. Launched in 1992, this public health campaign increases awareness of negative emotions and their impacts.
Dr. Nicolino: People Should Analyze Their Difficult Feelings
Feelings of anger, anxiety, and frustration aren’t moral failings. They aren’t fires that need to be extinguished. It’s unhealthy to suppress anger, even though society tells us to. Anger can fuel us to be brave, set boundaries, say “no” to bad behavior, or end a toxic relationship.
But when unexamined anger makes us scorch our loved ones and poison relationships. Dr. Venus Nicolino says we need to reexamine our inner selves when anger rises.
“There are positive ways to take anger out, to release the hurt without hurting others and multiplying our suffering,” Dr. Venus Nicolino says. “There are a few steps to make this work for you.”
The first step is to acknowledge issues deep inside that bother you. Spend time figuring out the sources of your problems.
“Some of it isn’t pretty,” she admits. “But if you’re strong enough to live with it, you’re definitely strong enough to examine it. Also, people have your back, so seek their help.”
To Arrest a Lousy Mood, Take a Deep Dive Into Your Mind
Digging into your psyche can unearth memories of bad experiences, so find something or somewhere to aim your anger. The key is to resist taking it out on a person.
“You don’t have to join a kickboxing gym, climb rocks, or run ultra marathons,” Nicolino says. “You can also take the pain out on an easy nature trail where steps and beauty hit their stride together — where minds tend to drift, just like some of the pain will.”
There are other uncomplicated ways to deter a rotten mood. Dr. Venus Nicolino recommends the following: Write down your sorrows in a journal. By journaling, you dig into what’s under your rage. Which is usually grief.
Another mechanism is strumming out your anger on a guitar or other instrument. Music therapy (remember her SoundMind app?) is a proven antidote to anger.
Additionally, taking up an outdoor hobby like gardening can be self-soothing.
“Any method will do if it gives you peace, joy, and the feeling of accomplishment,” Nicolino shares. “Drill that into your head, those activities that free you of hurt and stress. Use a sticky note next to your toothbrush to remind you. Get a magnet for your fridge.”
Emotions affect eating habits. Troubling moods can make you devour a pint of Ben & Jerry’s before you can say “Chunky Monkey.” Here are a few of Dr. Venus Nicolino’s tips on resisting stress eating when you’re depressed, stressed, or mentally “off.”
First of all, don’t allow yourself to get bored and overeat. Have a hunger “reality check” to assess whether you’re hungry or bored. Keeping a food journal will keep you honest and aware of these impulses. Do a fun taste test of superfoods. Find the ones you love — so even if stress makes you eat those, it’s not a big deal.
Also, try exhausting your stress. It has way too much energy, so work it out physically.
Dr. Venus Nicolino Recommends the SoundMind App to Calm Negative Feelings During Stress Awareness Month
“Most of our current mental health solutions are painfully slow and embarrassingly ineffective,” Dr. Venus Nicolino says. “SoundMind offers mental health therapy to any young person anywhere.”
Travis Chen and Brian Femminella developed SoundMind while attending the University of Southern California and launched it in 2021. At SoundMind’s launch, Femminella, chief executive officer and co-founder, said he and Chen used a foundation of scientific research to prove music speaks to the body.
“It allows your body to calm down; it allows your stress hormones to be reduced. Music can sometimes speak to your body more than sometimes your mind can.”